Movies from the Black Lagoon


THE FINAL GIRLS - 2015, Rated PG-13

By Tom Doty - For The Floyd County Times



A quintet of movie goers are sucked into a ‘slasher’ movie where they are menaced by a masked madman in this homage to 80’s fright flicks.

In the 80’s Amanda Cartwright got her first sizeable role as one of a the summer camp counselors who is menaced by a crazed killer in,” Camp Bloodbath.” Unfortunately that was her moment in the sun and she is now a struggling actress trying to live down that role while taking any job that will come along. Her saving grace is her relationship with daughter Max .

The film opens with Amanda and Max coming back from another audition, for yet another seventh billed supporting role on a TV Show. While Amanda wonders if she got the part Max is more concerned with getting their electric bill paid before the power is shut off. Amanda is less of a worrier and just wants Max to use their money to go on a class trip.

Sadly this is their final conversation . Moments later a spilled beverage provides just enough distraction to cause an accident which takes Amanda’s life and leaves Max all alone.

Cut to a few years later and Max is talked into attending a retro showing of “Camp Bloodbath.” When a fire breaks out in the theater she and her friends effect an escape by cutting through the screen only to find themselves deposited into the movie. Once there they must contend with 80’s teen stereotypes from horror movies and the masked killer who lurks in the woods waiting for them to pair off so he can swoop in and go all Ginzu on them with his outrageously huge machete.

Max immediately bonds with the character being played by her mother. She decides to try and change her into the “final girl” character. This means she must convince her mom’s character to not have sex with the stock 80’s guy (who rocks, poofy and speaks in a battery of lame, suggestive, one liners). Unfortunately their presence here has already upset the balance and anyone can die at any moment unless they can stage a party scene where the promise of imminent nudity will summon the killer who will walk right into their hastily staged death trap.

This is a movie geek’s paradise. Fans of 80’s horror will love it . They manage to have their cake and eat it too by combining the horror of an indestructible killer with riffs on the lame acting and scripting of sloppily put together horror cinema that was churned out by low rent studios in search of a quick buck.

The cast is in on the joke with Malin Akerman(Watchmen) doing double duty as a stock horror movie character as well as the tired actress/mother who created the role. Taissa Farmiga hits juts the right note as the resourceful daughter who must hide her feelings for her late mother even though she is interacting with a manifestation of her. The movie is frequently stolen by Adam Devine(Pitch Perfect),

as the macho lunk head character who was typically slain in these films after having ex with his latest conquest. He is hilarious and watch the credits for some outtakes where he does alternate material and cracks up his fellow thespians.

It all ends with a teaser for a sequel that they have to make !

Best Lines: “Everyone who has ex in this movie dies. It is awesome.”

“Why do we need a chainsaw for a slumber party?”

‘I can’t believe we’re gonna sit here and casually watch someone get murdered. What is this ,Detroit?”

THE FINAL GIRLS – 2015, Rated PG-13

By Tom Doty

For The Floyd County Times

Tom Doty is a columnist for The Floyd County Times.

Tom Doty is a columnist for The Floyd County Times.

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